Career path of a United Airlines Pilot.



30 years old. Join Company. World is your Oyster.

31 years. Buy Flash Car, House and lots of toys. Get over that GA/Military poverty feeling.

32 years. Divorce boring first wife. Pay Child support and maintenance whilst looking for
     second wife. Drink lots of beer and screw around whilst looking for second wife.

33 years. Repeat as above for a few more years.

36 years. Marry young spunky 25 year old virgin 'host-a-tute'.

37 years. Buy another house. Gave first one to wife 1.

38 years. Give in to second wife to have more kids. Father again.

39 years. Now a Captain. Hooray! Upgrade house and buy boat and flashier cars.

42 years. Wife two runs off with wealthy merchant banker but still
      wants share of house (100%).

43 years. Settle with wife and resolve to stay away from women forever.
     Seek appointment as Check Captain to have something to do.
     Move into two Bed Apartment.

50 years. Meet sexy singer on a trip. She loves you and says you very “beeeg”.

51 years. Marry sexy singer. Buy big house, boat and upgrade cars.

52 years. Sexy singer wants kids (not again). Resolve to get vasectomy.

54 years. Try to talk wife out of kids but hey presto she’s pregnant. Says got
     sick after taking pill. Accident, sorry, wont happen again.

55 years. Father of triplets.

56 years. Wife wants very big house, bigger boat and very flash cars.
Give in.

57 years. Make rash investments to try and have enough money for retirement.

59 Years. Lose money on rash investments and get audited by tax department.

60 Years. Wife three says you too old and no fun. Leaves.
Takes most of your assets.

61 Years. Now Captain on 767 and living in 1 bedroom company title
flat at Macquarie Fields.

65 Years. Lose medical and get job as simulator instructor.
      Look forward to years of getting up at 1 AM.

70 years. Alarm clock goes off at 1 AM. Have heart attack and die.

Happy at last!